Dev Pragrammander

Personal Bio

At first meeting, people often attribute my 17.432X programming abilities to the extra finger on my left hand. I can immediately dismiss these as feeble-minded cretins. As any programmer worth their salt can see, one extra digit  only improves keystrokes per minute by roughly 10 percent (depending on length and flexibility).

As you can see from my white paper, I've analyzed the mean length of C++ keywords and their distribution throughout the average codebase. Adjusting downward to account for my adoption of a two digit pre-obfuscated naming convention for variables [a-zA-Z]|[a-zA-Z0-9] the eleventh digit results only in the .432 multiplier or a 1.432X programming level. While oddly reminiscent of the ratio between a standard IQ of 100 and genius IQ scores beginning at 140 or 145 depending on the assessment, a single digit does not explain the true leverage of my 17.432X programming skills.

At the age of right foot middle toe, I developed a system of speed counting in hexadecimal by adding my toes and left fingers as digits, and tracking their exponent places on my right hand. I became a standout mathlete, but gave up the limelight when I discovered the C++ programming language.

As a 17.432X programmer, I now have effectively 53 and a half years of programming experience. I'm thankful not to be invited to developer stand up meetings as they are almost universally nothing but bottlenecks. My Team Lead had to referee our last meeting citing HR policies against arguing religion at work due when another developer suggested using Rust for a function and calling it "performant". There is room for diversity of ideas, but I loved Truth and C++ before I ever learned Scrum.

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